Maturity

Some students I know recently had a big blast followed by punishment from their lecturer for locking her out of class. To the students it was a prank, for the fun of it apparently. For the lecturer who had been rushing up and down the whole morning trying to photocopy notes for the students, finding herself locked out is certainly not a joke.

The ringleader eventually apologised to the lecturer and explained that the class does the prank as of right, even to other lecturer, just that the door was opened in time for the other lecturer and hence no damage ensued. I really do wonder and seriously am worried, how come pre-university students can act like kindergarten kids? And yet, find the silly prank 'fun'? What has happened to our education system for producing such foolish creatures? At 18, teenagers in the 1940s or 1950s were already working and earning a living to help support their families or were enrolled in millitary exercises. How about ours?

Whatever the reason for doing what they did, I beg the students to GET A LIFE. Fill your time with more productive activities while waiting for your lecturer to get to class rather than playing with the door knob. Sigh!

Teenage Sex (Part 3)

The topic of sexual exploits seems to set teenagers ablaze, must be the raging hormones. One guy I know thinks that he is ready to lose his virginity by a certain date, because the opportunity may not come again. Hmmm, unless one is going to the monastry up in the high mountains where no other homo sapiens reside, at every turn temptation always rear its ugly head, how can 'opportunity' not present itself?

Many of course see losing one's virginity as 'growing up', becoming a man. What is a man? One who is willing to be responsible for one's actions, right? Does it take a man to resist temptation or to succumb to it?

The other guys I know think nothing of trying out their 'goods' before 'purchase' and in fact, what is the point of purchasing when you can have as many as possible for free - willing supplier and consumer? I posed the question about using women as merchandise and disposing of them when one is tired of the 'toy'. The defence is that girls now have the same attitude towards guys, so why not if both have nothing to lose?

Yes, why not? What does one have to lose? Maybe one may construe that "I am still young, nothing can touch me, not even HIV virus, my body is strong and invincible." Ok, maybe you can escape the whole range of STDs and be preserved physically, but emotionally and spiritually do you know what has transacted each time you sleep with a different partner, which is not apparent to the naked eye? No? Do you bother to find out?

Let's draw an analogy to having two pieces of white paper glued together, and after a few minutes trying to tear them apart, what happen? Will it be a clean tear? Can the papers regain their original form? Probably not huh since they have lost their virgin state? That's what is happening to the soul and spirit which have been intimately attached to another but torn apart thereafter. And one wonders why s/he can never find true love - the spirit man is not at rest having had too much 'experience' in the area best saved for the marriage bed.

Don't get me wrong, am not trying to generalise that all who have had sexual experience will not find true love ever. There are many out there who later turn around and are happily married thereafter, in faithfulness and loyalty to one partner, but does one ever forget the old memories? Sometimes, one may feel unworthy of having brought into the marriage something less than a wholesome person, or whatever is left after being 'tested' by many other partners. When arguments and fights break out, this issue may be brought up, like a thorn in the flesh.

Young men and women, why be like everyone else? Why not set yourselves apart, be different from the crowd, dare to refuse to conform to the pattern of premarital sex? You are YOU, not everyone else in the crowd.

Pandemic

Am more and more convinced that a virus more virulent that the old swine flu is prevalent among teenagers - it is called 'lazy bug'. We couched it in many facets - procrastination, tiredness, err, not enough time, busy, etc but when truth be told many are found spending hours taking mindless quizzes on FB, on the basis that they need to de-stress.

What hope can we place in the future generation of doctors, lawyers, engineers, teachers, or God forbid, Prime Minister, who put personal comfort, fun, enjoyment above all else - hard work is definitely not in the top list of priority. Can one just sail through life without sweating it out? Will results and 'success' just drop into our laps, because we are born with silver spoon in our mouth?

This blog is not on a mission to 'shoot the teenagers'. It is an expression of concern over the state of being, how does one who is constantly bombarded with so much distractions keep his or her focus on what is important and and not on what is secondary? Indeed, wisdom beyond one's age is required. I was struck by the king in "The Kingdom of Heaven" how he led the army to war and prevailed over the enemy at the mere tender age of 16! What about our 18 year olds? Are they even rising to fight their internal battles against peer pressure, the weakness of the flesh, the deceitfulness of pleasure? It is a question best answered by each individual, you know your own weakness...

It's been a month since I last posted, and lots have been happening in my life - it has been turned upside down!

Anyway, enough about me, let's move on to focus on you.

A few characters I have observed in class which I find rather interesting:

(a) a girl who comes from an affluent family and seems to be struggling for acceptance, as she is very awkward socially. Recently, I realise the problem - she has been and I believe still is being subjected to abuse psychologically (if not physically) at home. I can't believe in this age and time there is still such rampant abuse by parents, but if sticks can't break your spirit, words CAN.

(b) another girl, who seems to me a Bimbo - pretty and all but I can't say much about intelligence. Baffles me how can one be so lacking in understanding of anything, having gone through 11 years of education in Malaysia (or could it be the reason why?). Again, I just found out that probably she has really short attention span and has not been listening at all in class, hence the apparent 'dumbness'.

(c) a boy this time, seemingly intelligent but has no regard whatsoever for the value of hard work, it's just not in his vocabulary. Probably born with a silver spoon in his mouth and thinks that life is to be enjoyed and work is for the less endowed. Whatever his motivation is, and whatever promises he has given his parents about wanting to change, and willingness to put in the effort, there is serious flaw in his lifestyle, as he is too easily lured away from hitting his books by a mere phone call, from even an acquaintance.


What is to be done for each individual above? Unless each wakes up and realise the need to change and is motivated to change from within (irrespective of their environment) what can outsiders do for them, even the most well intentioned ones? I must say that they have good friends who are looking out for them and wanting to help them (save the socially awkward one who has yet to be transparent about her need for help). Can they be helped? Will they be helped? Again, time will tell.

Value of Education?

Was at an Education Fair yesterday, browsing through the 'stalls' to see what colleges are offering. Interestingly, overheard some conversations:

father: no SPM can get into college ah?
counsellor: sorry sir, we need at least 5 credits?
father: pre-u cannot meh?
counsellor: no sir. It's a requirement set by the government.
father: so, no SPM how?
counsellor: maybe some private school may take the student in for O level...
father: ok la.


girl: errr, may I know what kind of degree can I do with just some principals for STPM?
counsellor: how about your SPM?
girl: 2As
counsellor: let's see what we can do
(consulted another counsellor)
: am sorry, but don't think you are suitable for any degree course with your STPM results. Maybe you can do a foundation course instead (which is equivalent or lesser than STPM by the way)? You definitely can get into foundation with your SPM results.
girl: oh ok, err how do I get a loan for foundation course?
counsellor: you can call this number, the person will be able to assist you.


The above conversations are reflective of what the society is chasing after these days - GRADES. Without any paper qualification, one seems not to be able to get ahead in life.
One bumiputra girl with 20A1s is now spoilt for choice - MARA and other institutions offering her scholarship for her pursuit of A level in London.
Some of the students at the Education Fair who came forward with beaming with pride, have 10A1s under their belt, and scholarships are being offered by colleges to these students, whether they need the 'help' or not.

After passing SPM with flying colors, what actually does happen to these students? Do they keep up their 'excellent' string of As or do they just melt into the background of colorful college life and let their grades fly?

Many students who came from renown kebangsaan school and are on scholarship, can hardly write an essay fit for A level. Assuming that they had A1 for SPM English and EST, their grammar is still at the elementary level, not anywhere near A level. It causes one to wonder how did these students score the way they did at SPM? Has something been compromised?
Can one continue to churn out essays that a 5-year-old has no difficulty writing even when one is about to enter into university? Is this an acceptable standard that our society is bearing with, as long as the person has good grades on paper?

Are we producing graduates who can barely speak English and who draft proposals and submissions using 'sms' or 'msn' English? Think about it and reflect whether you are fit to work upon graduation or do you need another 11 years of kebangsaan schooling system to regain your self worth (by the getting 30A1s probably) before joining the workforce?

Demonstration for language sake?

Read or watched with interest and 'amusement' the protesters who marched towards the Palace on Saturday afternoon (seems to fit within the meaning of 'procession' being a body of persons moving along a route). The reasons for their protest?
Science and Maths should not be taught in English as it threatens the sovereignty of the Malay language as the national language?
In any event, the teachers themselves are angry as they have not mastered the English language and hence are struggling with teaching the subjects in English?

Salute their bravery in coming forth to protest on an issue they feel strongly about but I can't help but marvel at how their dirty laundries are aired on national television - since one can't speak the language, one should stop others from learning in that language, and there is no need to improve oneself, but continue to languish in own foolishness? It is amazing that they would even think of coming forward to protest on such matters (being the 'mahasiswa' 'mahasiswi' of our nation, presumably the future leaders). Where is their shame in not being able to even mutter a few words in a universal language? Their defence being to preserve the Malay language? Hope they can stop dozing in their plush pillows of deception but wake up and smell the roses - there is no longer 'ketuanan Melayu' we are global society not just Malaysians!

God, save our nation. We are perishing in our mire of 'tidak apa-ness'.

On blogs

It's been almost a month since I started on this blog journey. Been amazed at how much time people spend reading other people's blogs. We are all very interested in the lives of people but we have no time to really sit down and catch up. Hence could it be that accessing lives through blogs are replacing real life face to face chat?

It's such a beautiful day - the sun hiding coyly behind the clouds, and I was driving along a hilly path, with trees swaying fr both sides of the road, can't ask for more out of life.

So many things to thank God for. No blog can contain the limitless thanksgiving.

Each time some light is shed on His word, my heart leaps with joy and I thank God that He shows me who He is. This time it is an interesting thought that leaped up - Ishmael (the father of Muslims) was circumcised at 13, and Muslims boys usually go through the circumcision ceremony at the age of 12 or 13, as they venture into adulthood. On the other hand, the Jews (descended from Isaac, the promised son of Abraham) are circumcised at birth. See the contrasts between the two?

It's no great revelation, but this mini revelation encourages me to dig deeper. There is a wealth of riches in the bible. For those avid Word diggers, feel free to share with me what nuggets you have uncovered.

Interesting day in class, watched an unfolding episode of a tiff between lecturer and students.
What class was it? Not English 101 but A levels' Law class.
What started the tiff?

Nothing life changing, just an innocent question from one male student - "Teacher, in the context of this sentence, what does 'attract' mean?" Lecturer asked whether the student has looked up the dictionary. Well, student answered: "I know the meaning, but in the context of the sentence I don't get what the sentence says". Fine, lecturer explained the word and asked other students to chip in too. Clear.

Then some whisperings in Mandarin between the male student and a female student.
Next question that was shot from the male student: "How about this word 'necessitate'? Is it really 'necessitate' or should it be some other word?"
At this juncture, the lecturer was rather irritated, again, the same student asking about English word, not a legal term even. Hence, it triggered a whole long lecture from the lecturer about how students don't even bother to read up before class and expect to be spoon fed in class, and even after being fed, students expect the lecturers to chew the food for them.

"Does anyone actually read the textbook at all and try to find out the meaning of the word in context with the aid of a dictionary? Or does everyone expect to come to class to get explanation for the teeniest English word?" Blah blah blah, so went the lecturer.

At the end of the 'lecture' not on law, but on students' attitude, some black faces were evident in class, especially on the part of the male and female students concerned. Trying to break the ice or the dead silence, the lecturer asked whether the students would want to quit sulking and get on with class. The female student (admire her bravo!) actually voiced out that the comments were unfair, she did read up before class and tried to figure out what those words mean. Ok, since the 'lecture' does not apply to her, the lecturer asked whether she could accept an apology for the blanket criticism that was aimed at all and sundry without discriminating between those who did some work and those who didn't. Reluctantly, she conceded and really got on with the lecture, participating in class like usual.


What happened to the male student?
Well, well, well, his EGO was bruised. He refused to talk or even look at the lecturer the whole time, his neck must be hurting by now just looking down and writing his notes. Wonder how would this student react later in life when his boss corrects him? Throw in his resignation letter because his feelings are hurt? We'll see.

Between the three - lecturer, male student, female student - which one is the immature one? which one is the mature one and which one lashed out without justification? You be the arbiter.

I read from the best teacher in town's blog that ' "Sincerity" is the key that gives one a "die-die" attitude, i.e. no matter what the obstacles are, one would "die-die" make sure that the desired objective is being achieved.'

I wonder if the students were sincere in wanting to know the meaning of the words or just wanted to know whether they got down the right words so that they can memorise those words for their exams' answer? One of the warning the lecturer gave to the class in the long winded 'lecture' was that one is not to just memorise for exams but to understand the subject matter. If understood, one can use the word in any manner and in whatever form it appears. The lecturer shared her own experience of having done all the memorising in school without understanding until she gets to university and had to sit for open book exams which means there is nothing to memorise, but everything is about application.

Is the lecturer unfair making comments about students these days being less diligent and expect to be fed in every conceivable form? Is it fair to conclude that students have nothing better to do than to study, as there is no need to worry about unpaid bills, loans, how many kids to feed and school?

The truth is even money for petrol for one's car does not have to come from one's pocket, but from pocket money that parents supply. Food is cooked and served on the table, and sometimes dishes need not even be washed. Clothes are washed and ironed, even beds are made by the maid(s) at home. Really, what are the other concerns students have that distract them from studies? Could it be the following:
How many futsal games to go for this week?
How come the most popular guy in college did not invite me to his booze party?
Why does that girl keep looking at my pimple and nose hair?
Why can't I wear an Armani t-shirt and don on a Tag to college like the rest?
How come my family doesn't have an address in Damansara Heights or Bangsar?
Why am I only driving a Proton Saga not a BMW sports? Oh man, this is so embarrassing!


Of course, this is again a very gross and broad generalisation of the student specie. Many out there are working part time and studying part time to support themselves in getting through ACCA, LCCI, LLB. Money does not grow on tree, these students even give tuition to younger students to earn enough to pay for their examinations fees. I salute this minority who is learning to live the real life even at a young age, they will go far, at least in grasping the meaning of sincerity and endurance.

"My parents don't hear me out, they just jump to conclusions before I finish sharing my problem. They start giving me advice that I don't need."

"I have tried talking to my parents, but they just don't seem to understand. I give up, now I shut myself in my room to avoid having to talk to them."

"My dad, instead of encouraging me to study, actually hurls a lot of insults at me, which makes me feel small."

"I want to do well in my studies to honor my mom - she has sacrificed so much for us. Yet, I am so fearful that I can't do well. Although I tried, the results are still not good enough."

Have you heard these comments from your peers or have you yourselves made such complaints either verbally or in your thoughts? At one point of our lives, we have gone through conflicts, and the most painful ones are those encountered at home, with parents who are supposed to love us unconditionally, who are supposed to protect and provide for us, but turn into our worst foes.

What has changed? Was it like that all the days you were growing up? Were there better days before? At which point did one party shut the other out? Questions to examine.

Watched with sadness the episode in Desperate Housewives where the mother has been trying to communicate with her son, one of the twins, but he kept giving her a monosyllabic reply. In her desperate attempt to regain the son whom she 'lost' she went on the chatline and befriended him, calling herself Sara J. They became good friends in no time and he fell for her, and of course she had to 'gently' reject him, but she accidentally signed off the chat with "love, Mom". It is a very real phenomenon, that parents and teenagers find it hard to get through to each other.

Parents feel that they are being locked out of their babies' lives (yes, no matter how old you get, you are always a baby in their eyes) and kids feel that the parents don't ever listen when they share their hearts. Which party is at fault? NONE.

Both really still love the other, but do not know how to express that love.

Remember when we were young, our parents used to cuddle and kiss us a lot? When we grow older we tend to 'resist' those show of affection, but when they do respect our space and leave us alone, we actually start missing those cuddle moments. If your family is not the 'huggy-kissy' type, do you remember the last time you were hugged or you hear any one of your parents say "I love you"? Again, whose fault is it? NEITHER.

We just grew up. Then, does it mean grown ups don't need even a pat on the shoulder once in a while? Read this excerpt from an article on the benefit of a wholesome hug:

"Everybody loves a hug

Hugging can do wonders for a relationship. Watch your bond with your children strengthen as your hugs increase. Everybody loves a hug, not just your children. Extend your hugs to other family members as well. You find it difficult to hug your sister because it's not part of your greeting ritual and you feel awkward? Remember, the person who is the hardest to hug is usually the one who needs it the most."


Remember that parents cannot meet every need we have as a human being - only God can. Deep within us there is a longing to be loved, but we douse the longing with poor substitutes - cigarettes, drugs, alcohol, sex, porns - all to one's destruction, leaving the void within even bigger and harder to fill.

Start small, if you think you will wait for your parents to change, the day may never come. Why don't you take the first step? Hug your mom or your dad today. Hold their hands, give them a kiss. After all those years of receiving, maybe it's time to give back. Remember, the person who is the hardest to hug is usually the one who needs it most.

Teenage Sex (Part 2)

Baby-faced dad, 13, raises "broken Britain" fears

LONDON (AP) - Ahhh, Britain. The land of Shakespeare and the Beatles, Churchill and the Queen. Rolling green hills, groovy London shops, hip plaids splashed over raincoats and umbrellas.

Cut to the reality of 2009: the highest teen pregnancy rate in western Europe, a binge drinking culture that leaves drunk teens splayed out in the streets and rising knife crime that has turned some pub fights into deadly affairs.

Ahhh, Britain.

In the latest symbol of what some are calling "broken Britain," 13-year-old Alfie and his 15-year-old girlfriend Chantelle became parents last week. The news sparked a flurry of handwringing from the media - and even ordinary folk admitted it didn't help that Alfie barely looked 10, let alone 13, as he cradled his newborn daughter.

Alfie's father, who reportedly has nine or 10 children of his own, gamely promised to have a "birds and the bees" chat with his son to prevent him from producing a second child before he grows facial hair.

Somehow that was not reassuring.

Sir Bernard Ingham, once press secretary to former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, told the Associated Press that people from across Britain's political spectrum are in despair over the country's social breakdown.

"It's an indication that we've lost our way, that people don't know the difference between right and wrong," he said of young Alfie. "The plain fact is society can't proceed on this basis. I think this is an indication of broken Britain."

Ingham said Britain's binge drinking and youth violence reflect the same general fall in standards and discipline.

"I think in time there will be a swing against this permissiveness," he said, noting a shift from British debauchery in the 18th century to Victorian straight-laced standards 100 years later.

Binge drinking has produced a rise in liver disease among Britons in their 20s and the unpleasant reputation of British "lager louts" at holiday resorts across Europe.

On any given night, London residents can see drunken teens staggering through the Underground subway system. Usually their friends help them, but sometimes collapsed teens are left on their own until police or transit staff intervene.

The rise in knife crime harkens back to the 1950s "West Side Story" era in the United States. The number of robberies carried out with knives rose 18 percent for the third quarter of 2008 compared to the year before, according to government figures released in January.

Too often now, public disputes have ended in teen stabbing deaths. Rob Knox, an 18-year-old actor in a "Harry Potter" film, was killed in May, while Ben Kinsella, the 16-year-old brother of a television soap actress, was stabbed to death in June. Both were trying to break up fights in London. Other, less well-known youths have also died in knife fights.

All this was bemoaned, but the final straw came this week, when Britain's intensely competitive tabloids focused on the young, clueless Alfie.

Alfie's daughter Maisie was reportedly conceived when he was 12. Chantelle's parents let the lad spend the night with their daughter, 14 at the time, at their public housing unit near Eastbourne, 70 miles (113 kilometers) southeast of London.

There are still some questions about the birth. The Sun newspaper did not say whether any tests were conducted to prove the boy's paternity, and The Sunday Times reported that at least two other teens claimed to have slept with the young mother.

Alfie told The Sun he plans to look after his newborn daughter. But in a heartbreaking interview, the boy admitted he didn't know what the word "financially" meant and acknowledged he doesn't even get an allowance.

While some saw a larger portrait of society's ills in Maisie's birth to underage parents, others called it an aberration.

"I think it's really shocking and sad," said Duncan Lees, 36, a caterer. "I think it's really wrong. But it's not like it happens everyday. The fact that it's making such a headline is something in itself. I think it's good that everybody is saying that it's wrong."

He did blame the youngsters' parents for failing to properly look after their children.

"You have to ask what their responsibilities are to their children," he said.

There was also an element of class consciousness in many reactions - not surprising in a country where status is often based on where you live, what car you drive and whether your children go to private school.

"I think it's very sad," said retiree Risdon Nicholls. "But they lived in a poor part of Eastbourne. That's not common practice in the rest of Eastbourne, which is a very smart town."

Nicholls said the British media was exploiting a one-time situation.

"They make it sound as if we're going to the dogs, and we're not," he said adamantly. "This is still a wonderful country - but it's clear standards have dropped."-AP

What is our response to the above article? Phew! It's only Great Britain, nothing to do with us, we Malaysians are safe. Really? Maybe, it's already here, but in the spirit of MALAYSIA BOLEH! all is under wraps? Only THEY know, we are just ordinary citizens, "tak tau"...

Real Valentine

Romance flourishes at school gate
Looking forward to that special date

One night of wine and dine
My heart truly becomes thine

Years apart our love grow old
Not a moment my heart feels cold

Through hardship and bitter rows
Our love tenderly grows

Wait not a special day to declare
Everyday is the day to care

Love regardless, all scorns defy
Because of His love, we can exemplify

Strange Student

This is an excerpt from a day in the life of a second year university student:-

6am: rrrrrrrrrrring! alarm went off. woke up for devotional, listened to Chuck Swindoll this morning on the radio.
7am: got ready for univ. Gotta catch the bus. Hopped on the bus, greeted by a cheerful driver :D
8am: reached univ. bright and early, no class yet, to the library then.
9am: lectures, tutorials, and a hosts of other things related to studies. In between classes, hang out in the library. Otherwise, can you suggest a better place?
4pm: classes over, stayed in the library to look through some books, or started on homework.
5pm: caught the bus home.
6pm: took the poodle for a walk, or helped with dinner preparation.
7pm: dinner and showers.
8pm: revision for each subject, tidied up the notes taken in class, added more to the notes from reference books.
12 am: sleep zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


what a life! where is your social life?
what social life? I am here to study not to socialise!

I had the privilege of conversing with the best teacher in town (BT) last night, and we were discussing the issue of 'thinking'. Boring topic you may say, but hear me out.

BT is of the opinion that people find it difficult to think for a start because of sluggishness. When pressed further for an explanation for the choice of word, BT expounded that thinking is akin to the stretching of muscles, in this case the muscles of the brain (assuming there are, we are no biologists here). The more we exercise the muscles, the better it develops and ultimately, it will function fully as God intends it.

Few of us are born to be a genius like Einstein but that does not mean it excludes us from having to think. Generally, we blame it on our educational system for not teaching us how to think, but why don't we begin to look at the man in the mirror? Do we even bother to learn to 'think' by exercising the brain muscles? Are we always waiting to be spoon fed or do we bother to look for information and digest the information then check it with others? When faced with any given situation, do we run to an older sibling, parent, teacher or anyone but ourselves to give us a solution or to decide for us, to exculpate us from the difficulty of having to think through the options or finally to take the blame for having taken a course of action?

It is a degenerating disease that is slowly seeping through the fabrics of societies, the raising up of generations of non thinkers. Am speaking for myself, I am LAZY to think, it hurts my brain if I have to sit down and mull over facts before forming an opinion, I'd rather jump to any conclusion haphazardly without having to justify it. When asked for the grounds of my conclusion, that's when the rubber hits the road, I cannot appear to be smart anymore, I have to confess that it is a matter of flipping the coin at times.

The alarming thing about this disease is that it is not that apparent. One can be scoring straight 'As' throughout schooling years, but not learn to think. It was just a matter of remembering and recalling the right substance for the right question. It doesn't take a genius. However, the real test comes at the work place, when situation changes everyday, unexpected events call for a bending of knowledge and wisdom to address the issue at hand. Then and only then is one exposed for the lack of thoroughness in the thought process; and the crippling effect of having been mother cuddled by a hosts of well meaning protective figures in our lives is apparent. What do we do then? Throw our hands in the air and give up in despair and disgust? NO! It's time to put on the thinking cap and learn to think from basics. One baby step at a time, daily choose to think about certain issue or subject matter, by learning to look at different angles and search for different approaches. And one day, hopefully, we may find that we have subconsciously learned the art of thinking and on our way of recovery from the bug of sluggishness.

And while we are at it, just be humble, be willing to take correction. The worst specie on earth is those who don't know much but are quick to proffer opinion and point out the flaws of others. Those who know much instead choose to keep quiet and give an input when asked. There is much weight to the idiom "empty vessels make the most noise".

out of action

blog maintenance is outta action this couple of day - can't type as index finger is hurt - deep cut! as i saw the blood streaming from the wound, the days of my life flashed before me.
yeah, dramatic! no la, just wanted my plaster FAST.

Do you remember the time...

Do you remember those times when :-
(a) parents or grandparents or nannies were the important people in our lives? If we lose sight of mom or dad or grandma or grandpa for a moment, we will wail our lungs out? Woe to me, if they decide to go outstation or to a relative's place overnight. I would be the most miserable creature on earth.
Nowadays, I wish they are out of my sight, or me out of their sight! That's why I dress in all black, in vain hope that the darkness would hide me.


(b) you believed everything mommy or daddy said and actually want to listen to their stories?
"Where do babies come from?"
"The stork brings them"
"Ooohh, ahhhh, can stork bring us one more?"
Now, I wish they would stop nagging at me and stop controlling my life!


(c) you wanted to be mommy or daddy's shadow and grow up to exactly like them?
Now, I wish I have a restraining order against my parents, especially from entering my room - can't they understand simple English e.g. "NO ENTRY". Don't come in under the pretext of picking up my socks. And please don't curse me that I look like mom or dad, I am nothing like them, I am cool!

It's amazing how once the age-ometer turns 13, teenagers suddenly developed profound wisdom and knowledge - I know more than my parents, I know exactly which boy or girl to date, I know very well how the computer works, but my parents need "Computing Handbook for Idiots", so don't tell me what to do.
And when teenagers drive a car they don't own, they suddenly developed great sense of direction and timing. I know exactly what time to come back at night, so why do you even set curfews for me, why do you stay up waiting, why do you ground me when I sneak in one minute past twelve? Don't you know that the parties only start after the clock strikes midnight? Don't you remember those Cinderella stories you used to read to me?

One lady once asked her son whether he would like to go dancing in a pub with mommy and he gave her a panicky look like "it'd be the ruin of my life, how can I ever face my friends again if they find out?" It's definitely not COOL to hang out with mommy or daddy, just give me the allowances, I will fend for myself out there.

Redeeming grace - I know one boy who is best of buddies with his dad. I know one girl whose best friend is her mom.

All is not lost.

Childish vs Childlike

What is the difference between one who is childish and one who is childlike? Have you ever wondered?

According to the free online dictionary, childish is "marked by or indicating a lack of maturity" and can also mean "affected mentally by old age or senile".

On the other hand, it defines childlike as "like a child, for example in being innocent or trustful" often associated with simplicity.

So, what am I getting at, English lesson so early in the morning?

Nope!

The above was triggered by a student blog that I viewed, the lass actually revealed her age, college, course, photo, interests, hobbies, and all other personal details which most adult would shy from for fear of intrusion into privacy.

I marvelled at the lass for her courage to reveal who she really is to the world, isn't it raw trust that people would not take advantage of her sincerity but befriend her for who she really is? Is that childlike or childish? I choose the former.

As the teenage years progress into adulthood, the pressures of life force many to lose the shine, the distinctive quality of being a child, which is the INNOCENCE. One become more and more skeptical, and start to view the world through jaded lenses. When a person says you are smart or beautiful, you will try to find the "shrimp behind the rock." What's with the flattery? What are you trying to get from me? Are you just saying it because I want to hear it?
Many begin to read into words and gestures of others.

I appeal to you as young adults, not to be marred by the wounds of adulthood, let the hurts, the bruises, the crippling encounters be stories of yesterday, not a baggage you carry late into life. Many an old person died with bitterness festering deep within.

Begin each day like a new born, with childlike innocence, expecting to see the world through a child's eyes, even the smallest wonders, be in awe of it. Pass it around, it infects even the most hardened soul. No sane person would resist love and kindness.

Bon Voyage!

Has Anyone Considered Being an Educator?

Those Who Can't Do, Teach

Written by Shari
Published September 12, 2006

Most people are quite familiar with the saying, “Those who can’t do, teach.” This statement suggests that people who have failed or would be failures in the world outside of academia end up as teachers.

The origins of this quote and various permutations of it are unclear. An early quote of similar meaning comes from George Bernard Shaw in "Maxims for Revolutionists" in Man and Superman (1903). The history of viewing the teaching profession with contempt or at the very least disregard may date back to the origins of the apple for the teacher custom.

In the Middle Ages, knowledge was viewed as God’s gift. Since it was God’s gift, it was seen as wrong to charge for it. As a result of this view, teachers at many institutions were not paid at all for their work. They had to rely on the gifts and charity of appreciative students.

Sometimes, a teacher was lucky to receive an apple so he’d have something to eat. It’s rather difficult to develop a mindset that a profession is pursued by people of high capability if that service is offered free of charge.

The value of the work being done as well as the education level required to perform that work is reflected in the salary, yet teachers are still relatively low-paid compared to other jobs with similar educational requirements. Additionally, teaching is one of the few professions that require a higher education, yet people commonly suggest those who take that career path are deficient in some fashion.

Being a teacher requires more than a standard Bachelors degree, but many people still view teaching as a profession for lazy or unskilled people. A favored chestnut among those who hold such views is the anecdotal story about the incompetence of teachers who teach topics related to professions in which they have never engaged.

For example, a business teacher who has never successfully run a business can’t possibly know real world business well enough to teach the topic effectively.

The attitude that a teacher must have worked in the profession that his students will eventually pursue is a reflection of ignorance of the point of education. There is a difference between receiving an education and attending vocational school. A vocational or technical school teaches specific skills that a student carries over to a job.

Education is about equipping students with a broad base of knowledge they can draw on to become successful in the occupations they pursue.

It is up to the student to digest the information he receives and find an application for it in his life, not for the teacher teach him each individual step. Considering that each company and job demands a customized set of skills, this is certainly a more reasonable approach. Even similar jobs may require different approaches at different types of businesses.

The sales tactics for selling computers requires a different approach than selling cars. Also, companies in the same industry often adopt their own approach. Marketing at Apple, where the focus is on design and limited numbers of models, would be a very different job than marketing at Dell, where the emphasis is on frequent sales, different equipment combinations, and low price.

Universities need only teach the fundamentals of each discipline and the companies can do the rest.

If you feel teachers don’t know what they’re talking about when it comes to the real world, then you’re missing the point of education. The point is not to memorize a sequence of steps to be regurgitated as needed at a future job. Teachers are there to help you learn how to be smart enough to figure out those steps on your own.

P/s: Shari has been disrupting the placid waters of Japanese life with her western ideas for the last 17 years. She's written textbooks and been a teacher and remains ever vigilant for her own tendency to view the world through the eyes of ethnocentrism.

Crossroads

Most students I talk to don't know what they want to pursue at the end of their pre-university course, or even at the end of university years. Only a select few know exactly what they want and set out to achieve those goals. Is this normal? Yes, I believe so.

At the tender age of 18 or 19, can teenagers be expected to make decisions which will determine their career choice for the next 20-30 years? Are they equipped with the necessary knowledge, understanding and wisdom to do what they really want to do, and not what their parents want them to do? Or do they even know what they want to do? Most have romantic ideas about certain jobs - comments like "I want to be a lawyer because I believe I will look cool in black and white" are not rare. It shows how shallow the young mind can be. Is that all there is to lawyering? The attire? How about the pressures, the compromise, the battles, the integrity, the price to pay at each point of decisions?

Well meaning relatives, cousins, teachers and other adults would provide good advice - be a doctor, a consultant, an engineer, an architect, an accountant, surely there is a market out there. " Never mind your interests, you are still young, you don't know better, just listen to me."

Why doesn't anyone suggest that you pursue your interest in arts and crafts, drawing, painting, acting, singing, carpentry or even plumbing? Are these lesser jobs, are these skills despised because they don't seem to make the bucks? Without the plumber or carpenter or electrician, how well can our modern households fair? Do we have the necessary skills to upkeep everything by our own hands?

Many parents have been told that they cannot live out their lives through their children, they are not to 'force', 'coerce', 'influence' their children to take up the vocation that they failed to achieve. The children are not the alter ego or the substitute of the parents. But having said that, how many parents actually allow freedom in the choice of the children's career? Do parents know when to let go? What is the right age to let go? 20/30/40?

I notice too that many school leavers are increasingly signing up for psychology courses, not so much because they want to pursue a career in that field, but I gather they may be struggling to understand the environment around them and want to be understood themselves. Psychology may shed some light, but really, nothing beats communication - open, raw and honest heart to heart talk.


So, all out there who are still searching for the light, looking for an answer, please do some soul searchings before you jump. Can you see yourself going to work day in day out to a job which is less than satisfying? If you choose a vocation you love, you are not actually working but relishing your hobby. How many in their lifetime actually achieve that?

Has your mom sung to you lately?

Teenage Sex

"Too much television, low self-esteem, disappointing grades and poor family relationships can be a formula that adds up to early teenage sex, according to a new study."

It is alarming how Malaysian teens are sexually active as young as 10. Can we really blame it on the idiot box, the infiltrating influence from the big bad Western world, or should we do some soul searching - is the family tie strong enough to keep the children rooted in traditional values or are parents the role models of extreme liberties themselves? Can we attribute teen sex to absent parents, peer pressure, romance novels, and a host of other "blameables"? I don't have the answer but I do believe that each person has a choice, the easy excuse of "I can't help it" is a lame way of exculpating self from any responsibility.

Those who reserve their bodies for their life partner are seen as outdated, old fashioned, the odd one out. It's innate in our human minds to want to belong, hence naturally we may compromise to be accepted. Should this rare minority of teenagers be ostracised and criticised, or should they be applauded as the last bastion of purity and courage?

It takes a boy to do what everyone else is doing, but it takes a man to stand up to the pressure and defy the social norm. Should one control his or her body, or should the body (and all attendant carnal appetite) dictate one's destiny? "So what if I lose my virginity? It's just a piece of hymen," I heard a girl once said.

Is it surprising that young people do not see their bodies as more than mere sexual objects to be abused (aka enjoyed) and discarded (aka variety of partners)? It is interesting or appalling that a teenage girl who is sitting for her A levels exams in June is expecting her baby in March, hence some of her lecturers are giving her extra lessons to finish the syllabus before she delivers. Being a nosey person by nature, I asked how on earth is she going to sit for her exams in her post natal stage and probably struggling with a wailing baby at home? The answer from the lecturers: "Is it our problem, considering we have done all we can for her, it's her choice."

I ask teenagers out there, are you ready for the responsibility of parenthood at such tender age when you are still grappling with the uncertainty of own identity - am I a child or an adult? Easy, abortion whether back street or "front door"is easily available at a cost, otherwise putting the baby up for adoption is a no-guilt solution. IS IT? Can a mother who abort her baby really feel no remorse or suffer no tug at her conscience? Will she really not yearn for the life living inside her for 9 months, once she parts with the baby? Check out "August Rush" - brilliant movie.


"Ah, it's the girls' problem to deal with the unwanted babies. I am a virile young man so I shall not deny the ladies the pleasure," says the boy who believes that he is God's gift to mankind and hence should deposit his seed at every opportunity. Don't wish you harm, but STD or HIV can easily catch up with your lifestyle, no matter how 'protected' your sexual conquests may have been. You sow what you reap - you can deny it but you can't run from it.

Decision lies in your hands, one blog post may not change your fixated view on the issue, but time will tell whether your choice is wise...

What's in a word?

I wonder why Adults tend to forget their teeanage years so easily? I mean it wasn't that long ago when they were young, right? How come it is so difficult for them to understand teenagers? Why is there generational gap? Baffles me!

Why don't they comprehend the teenage lingo?

Interestingly, I received an email asking how old is grandpa:

"One evening a grandson was talking to his grandfather about current events.
The grandson asked his grandfather what he thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general.

The Grandfather replied, 'Well, let me think a minute, I was born before: television, penicillin, polio shots, frozen foods, Xerox, contact lenses, Frisbees and the pill.

There were no credit cards,laser beams or ball-point pens.

Man had not invented pantyhose, air conditioners, dishwashers, clothes dryers, and the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air and man hadn't yet walked on the moon.

Your Grandmother and I got married first, . . And then lived together.

Every family had a father and a mother.

Until I was 25, I called every man older than me, 'Sir'.
And after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a title, 'Sir.'

We were before gay-rights, computer- dating, dual careers, daycare centers, and group therapy.

Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment, and common sense.

We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions.

Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger privilege.

We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent.

Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins.

Draft dodgers were people who closed their fron t doors when the evening breeze started.

Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends-not purchasing condominiums.

We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings.

We listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President's speeches on our radios.

And I don't ever remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey.

If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan' on it, it was junk

The term 'making out' referred to how you did on your school exam.

Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard of.

We had 5 &10-cent stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents.

Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a nickel.

And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.

You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600, . .. . But who could afford one?
Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon..

In my day:

''grass' was mowed,

''coke' was a cold drink,

''pot' was something your mother cooked in and

''rock music' was your grandmother's lullaby.

''Aids' were helpers in the Principal's office,

'' chip' meant a piece of wood,

''hardware' was found in a hardware store and

''software' wasn't even a word.

And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby. No wonder people call us 'old and confused' and say there is a generation gap... And how old do you think I am?

I bet you have this old man in mind...you are in for a shock!

Read on to see -- pretty scary if you think about it and pretty sad at the same time.

Are you ready ?????

This man would be only 54 years old"

Not too old is he, but consider the communication chasm!